Arnold
CibbuanoFrontline - One Big Family
March 22nd 2007 10:59
Episode: 2.1 ‘One Big Family’
What Happens: Things aren’t looking good for ‘Frontline’… Brian has been given the sack thanks to poor ratings. Emma sees an opportunity to prove herself but the network heads are quick to dismiss her and a hopelessly unsuitable temporary executive producer is brought in to ‘hold the ship down’ until a replacement for Brian can be found. Meanwhile, the network is shooting promotional videos for Brooke and Mike.
Elliot-Watch: Appears, but Mike’s comments aren’t shown.
Celebrities: None appear.
Celebrity mentions: Gareth Evans. Ray Martin. Russell Crowe.
Quotes:
MARTIN DI STASIO: Brian was contracted for three years, he’ll walk away with half a mill, if you gotta go that’s the way to go, I’m telling you – golden handshake.
STU: More like a golden kick up the arse.
JAN: We’re shooting it in a way that on one need be within a 5 kilometre radius of each other.
EMMA: Why?
JAN: Eh… this is television darling, everyone hates everybody else, that’s why we spend so much time promoting how well we all get on… one big family darling.
BROOKE: Jan, it says here I’ve gotta do a high-five with the weatherman.
BROOKE: Good, cause I’m not touching him.
CAVELL: Ed here has kindly agreed to step in and keep an eye on Frontline until we get a permanent replacement.
EMMA: As…?
CAVELL: E.P.
EMMA: Executive Producer.
CAVELL: Well, that’s what it usually stands for, isn’t it Ed?
ED: Oh, I’ve heard that it can also mean ‘Enormous Penis’.
(Ed and Cavell chuckle)
MIKE MOORE: Alright, geez, just cause the show’s not falling apart like you thought it would.
EMMA: I did not think it would.
MIKE MOORE: Well, whatever, I think Ed’s doing a pretty bloody good job!
EMMA: Well, he’s not the only one doing a pretty bloody good job!
MIKE MOORE: Alright, alright… no wonder they get blokes to run things.
EMMA: Hello Mrs Rosen, thanks for coming in so early. Um, have you been to make up?
MRS ROSEN: Make up is the devil’s work. Satan, his face was painted white to hide the darkness of his soul.
EMMA: Right. No make up.
DOM: Em! Em! Em! Em! (pulls out flowers) They’re from Ed.
EMMA: (Under breath) Ugh, he really is an enormous penis.
BROOKE: Don’t bet on it.
MIKE MOORE: It is two lines!
SOMEONE IN OFFICE: What?
MIKE MOORE: It is two lines… Brooke has two lines. She had two lines and Jan told me if wasn’t two lines.
BROOKE: Excuse me, I had to shake hands with the fucking weatherman!
MIKE MOORE: Excuse me! His name is Geoffrey Salter you shit!
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