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Porno by Irvine Welsh

September 25th 2007 02:40
Porno Irvine Welsh
The title of this book, along with the cover, ensure that you'll hesitate before pulling it out on the bus, but Irvine Welsh's sequel to Trainspotting is such a satisfying read, that you might say 'ah, to hell with it' and let people think you're a pervert.


Published in 2002, the book focuses the lives of Renton, Sick Boy, Spud and Begbie, nine years after the end of Trainspotting... they've almost all cleaned up on heroin, and have moved onto fat lines of cocaine.

The name of the book is in reference to Sick Boy entering the pornography business, trying to make his name in film by making a low budget porno movie. It's quite entertaining and, in the same style of Trainspotting, Welsh writes from the view of several different protagonists... whether it's the arrogant Sick Boy, the down-and-out Spud, the matured Renton or the still-psychotic Begbie - as well as a new character, Nikki.

Welsh shines with his ability to differentiate the narrators with unique voices... Spud and Begbie speak in Scots, and there's even a subtle difference between them, whereas Renton and Sick Boy speak in proper English, but slip into Scottish slang when pressured. It's an easy way to make the characters feel lifelike.

While Porno doesn't push the reader into unfamiliar territory, as Trainspotting did, showing us the harsh reality of lower-class Scotland, with the drugs and the violence, Welsh's sequel touches on new concepts. The gentrification of Scotland as the middle class absorbs old neighborhoods is a major topic in the book, with some characters enjoying the fact that their homes are being cleaned up - but some 'whingeing on' about the effect of new money.


Porno is fun to read, especially once you've come to terms with the dialect, and it's easy to feel connected to the characters, as they've been very well fleshed out in the original book as well as the film. Recommended!



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Pride and Darcy

September 18th 2007 05:58
Once upon a time in a land a long way away, a man I was entertaining said to me that his hero was Darcy. I promptly turned into a puddle on my brand new kitchen floor. It was as if he whispered Darcy's original proposal into my ear: "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
Buy why did I suddenly feel that way?
Colin Firth
Colin Firth - Mr. Darcy

Jane Austen released her hopelessly romantic novel to the world almost 200 years ago and the waves of influence is still being felt, particularly by me on this occasion.

Darcy, in fact, was a pig-headed, arrogant, stubborn man. When his initial proposal was rejected, he chucked a un-gentlemanly hissy. He even broke up love struck couples. There should be no logical reason why a woman would be attracted to him, unless she was a masochistic.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that you can't change a man/woman so chances are, after the novel ended Elizabeth moved to Pemberley and Fitzwilliam Darcy returned to his former "I know what's best for everyone" self.

What kind of a name is Fitzwilliam anyway?

Women only love him because Elizabeth brought him to his knees and made him see the metaphorical light. He was the epitome of pussy-whipped. Maybe if we (women) think he exists, then other men like him are bound to be in that big ocean.

Am I being too cynical?
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Interview with Les Morris

December 29th 2006 03:59
This is an interview I did with a guy called Les Morris, he's working on an indie film called 'Ed and Bela'

What is the name of the film you are working on?
"Ed and Bela"

What is the film about?
Life, the Universe and Everything. The film is a pseudo-biography about Ed Wood and Bela Lugosi. It’s a pseudo-biography in the sense that a lot of the people in the film are real, just none of the events in the film actually happened to them. Maybe I should tell you about the characters. Ed Wood was a transvestite, ex marine, 50's sci-fi director. He became an alcoholic and drunk himself to death. Two years later he was voted the worst director of all time and his films received international fame. Bela Lugosi was a massive horror star in the 1930. By the time he met Ed he was a washed-up morphine addict.

Anyway my film is set in present day. Ed's wife Kathy has found a way to bring him back to life. On Halloween Charon (the boatman of the dead) has dominion over heaven and hell and he can bring your true love back to the world of the living. Charon brings Ed back. He has been spending his afterlife in heaven (he is next door neighbours with Steven McQueen). Then for some reason Charon bring back Bela. Bela has been spending his afterlife in Hell. Hell is gone corporate and its filled with middle management types. There are small cubical partitions as far as the eye can see. Anyway Satan is a little pissed that Bela is out. But he has bigger problems. He has invested 50 million dollars into a film. Some how all the money has been lost in pre-production. So he makes a deal with Ed and Bela. If they can bring the film in on time and under budget Bela doesn't have to go back to hell. Now things get interesting as Ed convinces the Church in invest into the film.

How long ago did you start the script?
Ummm... forever ago. It happened by accident really. I was all set to take this Female Vampire movie (ok it was going to be a rip off of "Martin" and "Last House on the Left".) But me and a friend thought it would be funny to make a 5 minute film about Ed and Bela that had nothing to do with film making. And some how it grew and grew and grew and it became about film making.

Is it a collaborative effort?
Making a film is totally a collaborative effort. As the writer/director I kind of make the flow chart and together we’ll all fill in the bits.

How did you and the director get together? (When I sent this questions to Les I was under the impression he was the writer but not the director)
As being the director I guess I met myself at a very young age.

How many people are involved?
Ummm.. around 30 ish... We have all the main actor and main crew. We just need to fill a lot of the smaller roles (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), if anyone is interested.

How involved are you in the project post-script? (Once again, I asked this question because I thought he was just the writer)
I'm not sure what you mean by the question. Do you mean post-production? Well first it goes to the editor. His job is to cut out all the good stuff and say stuff like "It make the movie flow better if we chop this out", and "this scene is in here for your own personal gratification". Then it goes off the sound editor. You might have a brilliant film but if you can hear anything it essentially a pile of crap. the sound editor makes sure its not crap. Then the last stop is the composer. He writes the music to the film.

What are you shooting in on and for what reason?
DIGITAL!!!! The only reason anyone shoots digital. To save $50 000 in lab fees.

Where are you filming it.
All over the place. We just lost a major location the other day... well we didn't lose it they just want us to hire a security guard fort $200 a day.

What is the budget, how are getting around the constraints of said budget...
Well you just have to be smart really. I wrote the script around things I knew I could get. And Centrelink has chipped in some money. A few weeks ago I receive $200 in vouchers to by stuff like clothes for job interview. Well... maybe the money might be going on fog machines and make up. And the cost of the film went down after I cut that 50 page car chase.

How did you organise a cast? Who's in it, might they have been in anything we've seen?
The normal way I guess? They just came to the auditions.

Ed Wood - Well Ed was this dude called Adrian Snodgrass. But he just got a kick arse law job in Melbourne so we running around frantically looking for a new Ed. We've had to push back the shooting because of it.
Bela Lugosi - Tony Woollams - He is in a new movie called 'Playing with Piranhas'
Karen Bayly - Kathy Wood - She often plays the role of "Mother" in real estate ads.
Pamela Rome - Vampira - Ummm she's fantastic but I don’t know what she's been in.
Brinely Myers - Female Satan - He is in a production of "As you like it?" I think. It’s on some where?
Dan Sanssen - Male Satan - Umm… you might see him moving around boxing at Myers.
Rhonda (man she has a long last name) - Lance De Foe - She is totally kick arse!!! She plays a bad girl who you just love to hate.
Dan Jackson - Dylan Sander - Ummm... I have no idea....

How did the Troma guy get involved?
Ok the Troma guy is Lloyd Kaufman. He has directed such classics as "The Toxic Avenger", "Class of Nuk'en High", and "Tromeo and Juilet". I wrote Lloyd Kaufman into the script. I think I wanted to play him. Anyway I emailed him asking him not to sue me. Anyway he was heaps keen. So keen that he is going to play himself in the film.

How will the film be released?
Well my plans were just to give to Troma for free. And hopefully they will put it on a DVD. That would be kick arse.

Any CGI?
Ummm... yeah. Some lighting and some blue screen stuff. And Jar Jar Blink might make a cameo... oh wait a minute we cut that because Jar Jar sucks balls (gungan balls that is).

Be the first kid on your block to join the Leslie Morris fan club.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Leslie_Morris_Online/
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Supernova 2006 (with pics)

November 23rd 2006 11:00
Anime girls!


A couple of weeks ago I was fortunate enough to go to Supernova 2006 in Sydney. Or should that be, they were fortunate enough to have me there? Anyway, I've never been to any kind of convention of any sort, so this was my first


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Milo Kerrigan - The Brownish Bomber

October 24th 2006 08:12
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Naomi Robson - is she a moll?

September 27th 2006 10:15

Naomi Robson 'off-camera' remarks reel - click to watch footage of Naomi mouthing off.

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Vic Bitter

September 20th 2006 11:06
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Arnold Schwarzenegger goes nuts

September 8th 2006 08:22
Click on picture to watch video

This is one of the craziest things I have ever seen. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger doing some kind of advertisment for a Japanese drink that apparently makes you a king of confidence. Arnie is turned from an embarressed nerd to some kind of glittering maniac.

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Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager

September 5th 2006 08:54
Click on picture to watch video


Chad Vader isn't your typical Sith Lord. He's the mightiest and most evil day shift manager at the local supermarket. His arch nemesis, Clint, is the night shift manager. Vader must keep an eye on his staff, get a date, and face Clint if he's to remain effective in his job


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Jump the Shark

August 24th 2006 04:09
Don't do it Fonzie!

There's a saying that's been slowly seeping it's way into popular culture.

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Batman Vs. Alien Vs. Predator

August 23rd 2006 09:22
Dead End
Click to watch clip.


I know this is old hat but I couldn't resist putting it up in case anyone out there hasn't seen it


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Crack a Solo... and be a Solo man!

August 18th 2006 03:49

Hushes a man-sized thirst! - click for a filmclip of some awesome 80s-Australia action.

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Batman Villains Unite!

August 17th 2006 05:23
Well, it looks like the new Batman sequel is gearing up for some big multi-villain action. I don't know whether this is a good thing or not... I think Batman Begins would've been perfect had it just concentrated on one villain, and the way the next film is shaping up it looks like it will feature three major villains from the franchise, so I dunno ay...

Heath Ledger has signed up to play The Joker, which I think is interesting casting and could possibly be very inspired. Not everyone else is convinced, but I like Ledger a lot and I can't wait to see how he does it


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